both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

He'd already gotten everything he needed. To be honest it didn't take long. He figured that little creature was still up at the ranch sleeping or something. Weird thing, but an agreement was an agreement. If this creature or whatever she'd described was real, then it needed to be dealt with. He wasn't going to wait much longer, he'd already given her a couple hours. Waiting under a tree with a sleeping lad just above. Quiet way to have some company, how he saw it. Out of everyone's way, nice area to be in. Really, Ordon in general was a nice place to be. However, just as he was thinking such a thing, things got weird.

Moaning out the name of a girl in your sleep.

Well.

The second word, Alex couldn't catch. He coughed, but only once, to let the boy know he was there. It was an awkward cough, the kind that your parents gave you when they'd stumbled upon you in a more private moment. It was also a depressing moment. One could not call Alexander "cute." One might be able to use many other words to describe him but cute wasn't one of them. Alas, Colin's luck ran counter to his wishes, twice. No privacy, no cuties. There was a pause from Alex, not really sure how he was going to handle that. The boy was young, coming into manhood, and was confused about... certain things.

Finally he'd at least give it a try. The greatest of statesmen could take any subject and make for a good conversation. While he made no such claim, maybe it would be some good practice. Also help to get more money when he needed a job. Gently scratching at his right arm, in its sling, and wincing at the contact - damned wooden lion - He broke the silence with a question. "You uh... you dream about this Beth girl often?" Good way to get acquainted, right?

both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

Didn't know how to kill a Skulltula? Really? Alex quirked an eyebrow at that one. That seemed more like basic pest control than anything. It was kind of like killing keese. They were just more of a nuisance. The most a skulltula could threaten was... maybe a Kokiri or something. The whole being eaten by spiders was exceedingly rare. "Huh? Oh, you just put the flat of the blade under and flip them like a flap jack. Works every time." He said with a shrug. Maybe treating it so casually would get the kid to stop worrying about giant spiders. Now, giant wasps? Those were evil incarnate. But when Alex was hired to kill skulltulas, it was usually cause they found it more gross to deal with them than difficult.

Still, the kid was dreaming about this girl Beth, and not in a good way. He wanted it to be a good way, Alex could tell that much. "Sounds like you're wanting this Beth to swoon pretty hard though." Yep, boy had a good old fashioned case of "the girl next door." And really, idolizing Link? Was he the village's role model or something? Alex's experience with the Hylian was him running off to get start a fire to deal with Selos... when they were already surrounded by torches to begin with. That was fun. But that was there and this was here, and this boy needed Alexander's help!

He looked at the fallen foliage that had come from a result of the boy fidgeting and squirming in his position up top. First thing to deal with regarding the whole "get Beth to notice this kid" situation. Well, there was always the obvious. The kid may not have asked for Alex's help, but he was getting it. Turning his head up, Alex took a direct look at the boy for the first time. "Have you ever just considered telling Beth you like her? Most boys would tell you it's harder than fighting a monster." Fear of rejection was weird.

both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

Alex didn't budge as the kid hopped down from the tree and leered at him, noticing the flush at the tip of his nose. Instead, he only gave a shit eating grin as he let the kid rant, dig himself deeper. He was noticing a general trend with the words coming out of his mouth. Here's what he'd gathered, this Beth was a pretty one apparently. She also didn't seem at all interested in this boy, which meant that she probably was. Kids trying too hard to act like they don't like each other when everyone can see it. Ah, to be that young and to be crushing on someone again. There once was a nice Hylian girl, but that's a story for another time that the boy had no interest in.

Instead, he just let the Ordonian finish talking before his chesire grin widened just a little. He was right, Alex was indeed just going to keep pressuring him. It was what he was good at. The kids used to consider him the Big Bad Wolf. He wasn't dangerous or anything like that, just 'cause he could be kind of a jerk. "So here's the thing." He said as he stood straight, coming off from leaning against the tree. "I'm noticing you're talking about how she feels about you." Yep~ What they didn't talk about was equally as important, you know. "I've yet to actually get a straight denial that you like her."

He held his hands up in a shrug. "But we'll go with that. The damsel in distress just happens to be a girl who you think is cute, who you have yet to deny that you like, and not anyone else like your friends or your parents." He summed it up. Really, it was fun to tease, he had forgotten what it was like in the years since he well, grew up. "Clearly, everyone in Ordon but this Beth is hideous." Of course that was profoundly untrue, he'd met Link. That dolt could have any maiden he desired if he just figured out how much of a winner he was.

both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

And boom. Shit this kid had anger issues. Alex just stood back and watched as the volcano seemed to erupt and Pompeii everything around it. And man, he was being a real jerk about it. Apparently it was entirely about his love life now. Well shit, now it most definitely was. He wanted to be a smartass, well then game on, Alex could play that game. His gaze at Colin narrows as he reached into his vest, pulled out a flask, and bit off the cap before taking a large swig. Always good stuff in there. But he really needed to get this damn arm fixed. Twisting the cap back on with his teeth, be put the flask away.

And then he started pushing back, giving into the wave of immaturity. "Yeah pretty much, I-I mean that was what that monster was here for the other day. Village was in no real danger, it was just going to slip into your bedroom while you were sleeping and just laugh at you like," And then he followed that up with what could only be described as some horrid daemonfrog laugh. "Like that. We-we all do that, Colin. We sneak into your room while you're-while you're sleeping, and laugh at you, Colin. I mean this," He pointed to his arm in a sling. "This was to deny it that pleasure so I could do it myself to your single, lonely, adult-ass face."

And then he leaned forward and laughed. Hard.

Leaning back, he pointed at Colin. He wasn't really sure how far these kids ever took it with the kid, but he knew the name at least. And heir and all that. He was Rusl's then. Colin was Rusl's pride and joy. Which meant that his mother, well. "Even got to experience the joy of my great love life in the process. Had your mother most recently. Pretty blonde hair, don't you think? Nice pair of legs, right, Colin?" He would also aim low the entire time. Of course, Rusl was a hard man, and if he ever found out, Alex was surely in for an ass kicking.

both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

Alex's brow quirked at the sudden shift in personality. Man this kid had some seriously repressed anger. Was Rusl just a really shitty parent or something? Most boys needed some kind of outlet or they turned into like, serial killers down the line or something. "It worked didn't it? Here you are, threatening to beat the city slicker with your country prowess." He said as he inspected his nails. Really, maybe he should have been worried but Rusl's kid seemed green. There was also a sense of confidence that came with being a Warden that made him feel he'd faced worse. "That's a side that'd never come out if what I said just rolled off your back." He simply observed.

He looked up from his nails to look at Colin again. "Your attitude would be more threatening if you weren't just whining about your love life and this Beth getting eaten by what is essentially pest control." This kid might have actually come off as dangerous if it weren't for the first impression. So to anyone else who hadn't caught him sleeping, or getting flustered over a girl, or getting snarky over the failure he called a love life, he would have been quite the sight. To anyone who had seen all of that, probably not so much. Ah well, escalation was sometimes inevitable.

Man Rusl was gonna kill him later if they ever met. None of the Wardens liked getting on his bad side.

Still, was he here to be welcomed or to butt heads? Well, he'd already been welcomed. He was already patched up, and he was getting ready to leave tonight. He'd have left earlier but he was still waiting for that creature that tried to strangle him to show up. Which, speaking of... "I've already had one person try and kill me today and I'm still here. So yeah, I'll butt heads. Come on, Colin. Do your worst. I fucking dare you. Because I've already won." He leaned back against the tree, using his good arm to motion him over. Speak now or forever hold your peace or something like that.

both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

Alex gaped as this kid had a mental breakdown. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with... should he blame his parents or should he blame the kid? Holy hell there was way too much pressure on him. Alex could only think of one question as he just watched Colin absolutely break. "... Your dad gets random strangers to surprise you with tests?" Seriously, what in the absolute flying fuck? The screaming, the angsting. Holy hell, this guy had a lot of repressed issues. "Gods above your dad may know how to use a sword but he is one shitty parent." He said without absolutely any regrets. Rusl might kick his ass but it was something he'd say to the man himself.

It was only when he was slumped on his knees that he started rehearsing some speech that his dad had likely fed to him that Alex decided it was time to step in. Squatting down, Alex looked at the distant Colin, and then with his good hand, slapped him. Hard. With that done, he sighed, before reaching back into his vest and pulling out the flask, offering it to the kid. "Look, Colin, listen to me. You're well, an adult." Technically, unless this kid was large for his age, and Alex meant really large, Colin was undoubtedly considered an adult in Hyrule. He looked sixteen anyway.

He shrugged a bit. "But you're in that weird phase where everything seems so different and you're fighting a whirlwind of emotions you aren't used to. You're in that state where people are expecting things of you, but you have nothing to go on when it comes to how you live up to those expectations." Everyone went through it. Alex went through it and he was sure Rusl did too. That strange time when you were driven by raw emotion, when girls seemed just a bit more prettier than they used to, when you really just wanted to hit something and didn't care too much what the consequences of such an action would be.

He was comparing himself to what Alex figured was some crazy built up image of the guy. Which well, there were problems with that. "Bravest thing your father ever did was ask your mother to marry him. Greatest accomplishment of his career is currently slumped on the ground." Even as a single man, he knew that. People feared rejection. Many would rather fight monsters than try to settle down for fear of it. Many did fight monsters instead of it. "One of the greatest disappointments you will face in your life is learning your father is a man; no different than any other man. Which means he can be wrong."

both were silent.

there were ways for kicking and screaming.

Okay yeah no, Rusl, even if the man was a fearsome warrior, really needed a reality check for all the shit he did. He tried to be gentle, he tried to be encouraging, but there was just too much to work with. Instead, he just gave some kind of speech about how he was expendable. Seriously, just what the hell did his old man drill into his head? Alex just stared at Colin for a moment, deadpan. Should he smack the kid again? That wouldn't do anything would it? How should he go about doing this? Should he do it in public to make it clear? Or should he do it in private? No, but then... hm... Maybe the kid should just run away from home, get away from it all and start a new life, get a new identity?

Alex rose to his feet, putting the flask away and patting Colin on the shoulder a few times. He was on his side. He was not going to let this blatant domestic abuse continue! Not for long anyway! "Right, so. I'm gonna go kick the shit out of your dad. Where is he?" He was mentally shadowboxing. There was going to be a dramatic scene in Ordon and it would likely be for the best! Maybe. Wait, shit, he really didn't hope Rusl didn't just take it out on the kid later. Maybe beat up Rusl and then get Colin out of there...? Problematic. Very problematic. Alex looked at his sling. Fighting Rusl with one arm would be a tall order, but... hm...